Dear Guy from Mayonnaise commercial who was making himself a BLT,
You sick fuck. Why the FLAMING FUCK DID YOU PUT MAYONNAISE DIRECTLY ON THE BACON LIKE THAT?! If you needed a second dosage of mayo you would leave bacony residue in the jar. Who does that? You putrescent dickstain.
I hope you suffer night terrors unset from syphilis-fever for all the rest of your days.
A Decent Fucking Human Being.