A Concerned Citizen’s Letter.

Dear Guy from Mayonnaise commercial who was making himself a BLT,

You sick fuck. Why the FLAMING FUCK DID YOU PUT MAYONNAISE DIRECTLY ON THE BACON LIKE THAT?! If you needed a second dosage of mayo you would leave bacony residue in the jar. Who does that? You putrescent dickstain.

I hope you suffer night terrors unset from syphilis-fever for all the rest of your days.

Sincerely,

A Decent Fucking Human Being.

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